celebrity crushes, and why

I know this might seem dorky, but honestly I don’t see many of my daily blog reads talking about this. So although I am a straight male, and one of the sole bloggers representing my demographic, I thought I would get the ball rolling. You know you all got these, so do your own. And be sure to let me know! (read: link to me)

1. Amy Sedaris

What can I say? She’s gorgeous, hilarious, insightful, resourceful, inventive. She’s the perfect woman! Sure, she’s like 45, but who cares? She still looks 30, so no big deal.

Amy has some amazing appearances on Letterman, and obviously she is the brains and the person behind Candy from Strangers with Candy.

She’s also the voice behind Cinderella in Shrek the 4th. A lady’s gotta pay the bills, yeah?

Well….yeah.

2. Zooey Deschanel

The complete package! An amazing actress and singer, Zooey is just simply amazing. She has this amazingly unassuming demeanor that I find totally beguiling.

She’s been in a host of really great independent films, as well as the new Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. She obviously has the chops for any film she chooses, but she’s also enough of the ‘it’ girl that studios are seeking her out for virtually any role she might want.

If you listen to her sing in the shower in Elf and you don’t want to kiss her, then I can’t help you.

3. Laura Kightlinger

Are you sensing a theme? I fucking LOVE funny women. Laura Kightlinger is probably the funniest woman alive. She’s a hilarious stand-up comedian (I don’t write “comedienne”, because I think it’s condescending) and one of the best comedic writers I have ever read.

She wrote Quick Shots of False Hope, which is one of the funniest, and most honest books about the difficulties of life that anyone has ever written. You ought to read it, no matter what your chosen profession is.

4. Justin Theroux

OK, here’s where it gets weird. I have a huge crush on Justin Theroux. But it’s not a crush in the way that I want to have sex with him. In fact, to be honest, I have absolutely ZERO sexual attraction to Justin (or any man, for that matter).

But if I’m honest, it is a crush. I have a non-sexual crush on Justin Theroux. I am attracted to him in an objective way, the way you might be attracted to a really nice house. Also, he looks like this: So he is obviously not a normal human…

5. Sara Bareilles

Sara is the hope for the future.

Women are aching for good examples in the entertainment community, and some clones of Sara Bareilles are just what the old fashioned doctor ordered.

Her breakthrough song, Love Song, is a beautiful backhand to the guys that think having a songwriter as a girlfriend means a guaranteed “love song”.

And her song, Fairytale, is a huge reminder to women that traditional archetypes are not only useless, but detrimental, when addressing the societal categories that women are shoved into.